Curiosity Is a Way of Thinking

I’ve always considered myself a curious person. I like understanding how things work, why people think the way they do, and what makes the world around us the way it is.

For me, curiosity is more than wanting to know things. It’s a way of approaching the world. It’s about not settling for the first answer, questioning what you think you know, and being open to perspectives that might challenge your own.

I don’t think I’m particularly good at this all the time. There are plenty of situations where I could be more curious, more open-minded or simply a better listener. But it’s something I value and try to bring into my everyday life.

And looking back, some of the most interesting experiences I’ve had started with exactly that: wanting to understand something I didn’t know.

A different language, a different world

Moving from Germany to Spain probably made my curiosity grow in ways I hadn’t expected.

Learning another language is obviously useful if you want to live in another country. You need it to communicate, deal with everyday situations and get things done. But at some point, you realise that learning a language is about much more than finding the right words.

It gives you access to people, their experiences and the way they see the world.

Learning Spanish helped me build a life in Spain. I met my wife, made friends outside of work and became part of a world that would otherwise have remained quite distant from me.

Earlier this year, we visited my wife’s hometown in Mexico. It’s a very small town, quite literally in the middle of nowhere. I was probably the first German or even non-Mexican most of the people there had ever met.

I got to meet so many interesting people and experience a way of life very different from my own. I don’t think I would have had those experiences if I hadn’t been curious about the language and the people who speak it.

I find that quite fascinating. Something as simple as deciding to learn a language can lead you into situations you could never have planned.

And this doesn’t only happen when travelling or moving abroad. I notice it at work, too. Understanding a colleague sometimes means understanding more than what they’re trying to tell you. It means getting a feeling for where they’re coming from, what experiences might shape their thinking and why they approach a problem differently.

Living in Spain has also made me more aware that what feels completely normal to me might look very different to someone else. I notice this with Spanish friends and colleagues, even more with the many Latin Americans I work with, and of course with my wife.

It makes me question some of my own assumptions. Why do I see things this way? Is it really the only reasonable way to look at something, or is it simply what I’m used to?

Sometimes curiosity means saying less

I’m quite an introverted person. When I’m in a group of people I don’t know particularly well, I tend to observe and listen a lot before getting involved.

I’m interested in understanding the people around me. Their backgrounds, their experiences and how those things shape their opinions. I like getting a sense of how people interact and what matters to them.

I think this is also why I see curiosity a little differently from how it’s sometimes portrayed. We often associate it with asking lots of questions, actively exploring things or being the person who always starts a conversation.

But you don’t have to be the loudest person in the room to be curious.

Sometimes curiosity means listening a little longer. Giving someone the space to explain their thoughts without immediately jumping in. Or going home and thinking about something someone said.

There’s something interesting about simply being quiet and paying attention. People might tell you things they wouldn’t have shared if you had filled every silence with your own thoughts.

And perhaps more importantly, you might understand something you would otherwise have missed.

Listening to understand, not just to respond

Of course, I don’t always get this right.

I notice quite often that, in a conversation, I’m listening to someone but mostly waiting for my turn to speak. I’m already thinking about what I want to say, how I disagree or how I can relate their story to something I’ve experienced myself.

I’m technically listening, but I’m not really trying to understand their point of view.

Every now and then, I catch myself doing it. Sometimes in the middle of the conversation, sometimes afterwards. I realise that I’ve been listening to respond, not to understand.

Imagine having dinner with friends. Someone tells you they’re thinking about leaving a comfortable job to try something completely different. Your first reaction might be to think about all the risks. You start forming an opinion before they’ve even finished explaining.

But then you realise you haven’t really understood why they’re considering it. What happened at work? What are they looking for? What matters to them?

So instead of immediately sharing your opinion, you ask another question and let them explain.

It doesn’t mean you’ll agree with their decision in the end. But at least you’ve given yourself the chance to understand it first.

I think this happens to everyone. And I don’t believe curiosity means you should never have strong opinions or disagree with people. It simply means being willing to understand an argument before deciding what you think about it.

For me, that’s one of the things I try to get better at. Sometimes it just takes a small step back and a little less eagerness to speak.

Curiosity isn’t something you master

I sometimes get the impression that people become less curious as they get older. Perhaps that’s not entirely fair. It’s probably more that routines, responsibilities and the comfort of familiarity start taking up more space in our lives.

Exploring something new takes effort. Learning a language is hard. Getting into an unfamiliar subject can be uncomfortable, especially when you have to accept that you know very little about it.

And it’s easy to stick with what you already know. You have your habits, your opinions and your ways of doing things. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with that. But it’s also easy to stop questioning them.

I don’t think curiosity is something you can master. You can practise it, but you can never really finish learning how to be curious.

You can be open-minded in one situation and surprisingly closed-minded in another. You can spend an hour trying to understand a complicated technical problem and then dismiss someone’s opinion in a conversation without giving it much thought.

I’m certainly guilty of that.

Perhaps that’s the point. Curiosity isn’t a permanent state you reach. It’s something you have to keep making room for.

It doesn’t have to be a big thing

The good news is that curiosity doesn’t require you to move to another country, learn a new language or completely change your life.

It can start with much smaller things.

Ask one more question when someone tells you something interesting. Listen for another minute instead of immediately sharing your opinion. Read about a subject you know nothing about. Ask a colleague why they approach a problem in a particular way. Try to understand an opinion you disagree with.

Even learning one new word in another language every day is a small way of opening a door.

None of these things needs to become another productivity exercise or a personal development goal. You don’t need to measure how curious you are.

Just pay a little more attention to the world around you.

You never know where it might take you

When I think about the experiences I’ve had since moving to Spain, I realise how many of them started with wanting to understand something unfamiliar.

Learning Spanish led me to people and places I might never otherwise have encountered. Listening to people with different backgrounds has made me question things I once took for granted. And conversations have sometimes taught me more when I’ve said less.

I still catch myself making assumptions, defending my opinions too quickly or simply not being as interested as I could be. That’s fine. I don’t think the goal is to get it right every time.

For me, curiosity is about staying open to the possibility that there’s something I haven’t understood yet.

And sometimes, all it takes is one more question.